Adventures: Day 6

It's been awhile since my last post...... I have learned many things over the last few months........ The most important thing is don't ever tell God "NO." I don't have alot of scriptures today just a lesson from experience I'd really like to share. I pray and hope that this is somehow helpful to someone going the same thing or something similar.

This started on June 20, 2009. I made a decision to sin. I say I made the decision because some sin is not reactive. It's just plain active because we chose to do it knowing it was a bad idea. When we chose to openly sin and be hypocritical there will be consequences. One bad choice can turn your whole world upside down. Did you know that satan can use one thought you act on and ruin your life if you allow it? I found out the hard way. Up until June 20 I had been trying to build a ministry that God laid on my heart. I worked so hard and loved it so much. I knew this was the calling for my life, my purpose, my unique plan from God. I told everyone I could about it. I was so glad that God was using me for something awesome.

After that bad decision, satan started using it against me.... "Look at what you did, no one will ever take you seriously, who do you think you are? You are not good enough to do things for God." This went on for days until I finally said "That's right, God didn't want me to do this, really, do I honestly think that God would really use me for something great?" I was so defeated and oppressed I couldn't see straight. I just knew that God was mad at me so I quit talking to Him. I knew He was there but I didn't "feel" worthy enough to even speak His name or tell anyone about it Him. Well, satan had won, and I was just letting him have the best of me. I hated my life for so long after that. I didn't want to be around people, I was ashamed of myself for calling myself a Christian knowing that I had messed up. We quit going to church because I had no desire for God anymore. We were still going to Bible Study at my mother's house but I wasn't learning anything. I was so consumed with my sin and guilt that I didn't receive the lesson. All this went on until September 11, 2009, my birthday. We went out dancing and I got caught up in sin yet again, basically telling God no again. I was determined not to work for God because I felt and thought that He didn't want me too. How foolish of me to believe that. How foolish to think that God just put me on earth to mess up and be miserable the rest of my life.
I finally had to just cry out to God and I begged for His grace and mercy constantly. For two weeks I had been constantly talking to God, crying out, you could say I was just lost and could only see Him. I'm saying all this hoping this somehow encourages you to reach out to God the most when you think He's not there. He has been the only one to lift me up out of my dark depression and lonliness.

September 27, 2009 God got a hold on me that I can't shake off. That day was a sunday. I don't know exactly what it was that day other than God but I can feel the peace and joy again that I once had. I know that satan just had an awful grasp on me pulling me down so far I couldn't do anything. The one thing I have that worked is prayer. When you think you can't go on or you don't want to, call to God. He is already there with the solution waiting to give it to you. You have to ask for it and accept it. God wants all of His children to be happy and work for him. This verse, Jeremiah 29:11 is proof!! Sometimes when life is just going by without direction or umphf God is calling us to just be still and listen. Sometimes He just wants us to grow in Him and draw strength. John 10:10 Please read this verse and believe it with everything you have!!!


I don't know who all this lesson is for but I do pray that someone can benefit from it.